


Tony Stark Is Not Your Therapist

by Heartithateyou



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 17:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1695743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heartithateyou/pseuds/Heartithateyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark is a lot of things, romantic expert he is not. So why are all the Avengers suddenly coming to him for dating advice?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tony Stark Is Not Your Therapist

"Stark!" He heard a voice say as he poured his fourth cup of coffee. Strange, the kitchen had been empty when he walked in.

"God?" He said as he placed the pot back.

"Close, I prefer Barton the great and powerful." Clint said as he swung down from his hide out on top of the fridge.

"Seriously? There are so many bird jokes I could make right now..." He says as he takes a sip.

"Hilarious, as always. Anyway, Nat's pissed at me. Long story, blah blah blah, what do I do?"

"Why are you coming to me, bird brains?"

"I'm guessing you've pissed at lot of people off in your life, so you're probably good at having to crawl back." He replies with a smirk.

"You're a peach, Clint. Really."

"Seriously, I mean look at the screaming match you and Steve got into last week? How'd you solve that lover's quarrel?"

That son of a-

"It was not a lover's quarrel." He says, editing out the silent rest of the sentence. That he wishes it was.

Living with a team of superheroes was one thing he thought he was prepared for. Falling in love with the old fashioned, stupidly hot leader of the team was not something he was prepared for. Even joking about a relationship with him brought a dull ache to his chest.

"Anyway, you piss him off on almost a daily basis and you guys are still best buddies. How do you do it?" Clint asks, quirking an eyebrow.

"I dunno." He says, letting out a sigh. "I guess sometimes you get to the point where whatever you have to do to make up with someone is more important than being right."

Suddenly, the kitchen is too quiet, he can practically hear his heart pounding. That was way too much to reveal, especially to Clint.

"Or you know, get your ass kicked by some evil aliens, they're usually pretty forgiving after that." He mutters as he clutches his coffee and gets the hell out of there.

 

"Tony! I request advice on the subject of romantic relations!" He hears a voice boom behind him, jumping slightly at the sudden intrusion. He really should have thought through inviting the god of thunder to live with him.

"Thor, I thought we went over the knocking thing." He says as he turns to greet the other man.

"Yes, of course, your mortal ways are still perplexing at times." He says, his face squinting slightly. "And that was what I wished to converse with you about. As you know, I am dating the lovely Jane. Soon, we will be celebrating our "anniversary" as you call it. What do you believe is expected of me?"

Oh this was too precious, a god coming to him for dating advice.

Although he was sort of the god of dating.

Okay, maybe the god of charming and disaterous one night stands.

"No problem big guy." He says with a smirk. "You need to take her somewhere nice, wine her and dine her, if you want JARVIS can take care of it. You should probably also get her something, I usually go for the big and gaudy route but Jane seems more of the sweet and sentimental type. Maybe get her that new telescope she's been lusting over."

Damn, he was good.

"Tony, it appears you are a master of these situations. I do not believe you are, as Natasha called it, amazingly thick. Whoever captures your heart will be a lucky suitor." He says with a smile, clapping him on the shoulder so hard it'll likely bruise.

"Thanks, that's sweet, really." He replies before Thor turns and gallops up the stairs.

He turns back to his computer, making a note to have JARVIS make reservations. He can't help but wonder why Thor was coming to him, sure they were buddies but its not like anyone expected Tony to be the expert on relationships.

He had to scoff slightly before returning to his project.

He'd stopped trying to figure out why his life was so strange a while ago.

 

"Stark."

"Crap, Natasha, can you stop being stealthy?" He says, clutching his chest as he turns to face her.

"I'm a spy Stark, its what I do." She says with a smirk. "Which one?" She says, holding out two black dresses.

"I... what?" He says, not comprehending.

"You're the closet thing I have to a girlfriend, and girlfriends go to each other for fashion advice. Now, I have a date in 20 minutes, so which one?" She repeats.

"The uh... The one on the left." He says, his brain still not comprehending the situation.

She looks at the dress and nods. "You're pretty good at this Stark."

And with that she glides out as slightly as she came in.

What is going on in this tower?

 

"Hey, Tony, if you're not busy, can I ask you something?" Bruce asks as he walks into the living room.

"Sure thing, nothings on anyway." He says as he tosses the clicker onto the table.

"Don't you get, like a thousand channels?" Bruce says as he glances at the tv, which currently has the movie Predator playing.

"More than that. Was that the pressing thing you wanted to ask me?" He says with a smirk as the other man sits down on the sofa.

"No, no of course not." He takes a deep breath before he continues. "So there's this girl, woman I mean, who I'm sort of interested in and I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to proceed."

This was just getting downright strange.

"Sure thing. Flirt with her, notice when she does her hair, remember the little things. Just make her feel special." All the things he wishes he could do with Steve."Now, can I ask you something Bruce?"

"Of course Tony." He replies.

"What is up with all of you lately? Thor's asking me about anniversary presents, Barton is asking about making up with people, and Nat asked me about fashion advice for God's sake." He says, his voice getting louder as he progresses.

"Tony..." Bruce says, looking down at his hands as they fiddle. "I can't tell you."

"You can't tell me?" He asks incredulously.

"I want to, but I can't. I made a promise." He says as he stands up. "But I think you'll figure it out soon." With that, he leaves, and suddenly he feels way more confused than he did five minutes ago.

 

"Hey.... Um Tony?" A voice hesitantly says as someone knocks on the door.

He yanks open his bedroom door and sees a very nervous looking Steve. "Hey Cap, what can I do you for?"

Damn, that man was so attractive it should be illegal. How does someone look that good in a wifebeater and jeans, its ridiculous.

"So I need advice... So I like this person, like really like them. They're brilliant and amazing and just... incredible. But I don't think they know I like them. and I'm not sure how they feel about me. So... so how do I tell them?" He says, barely looking at him.

Well if that was a dagger in his heart. Not only was Captain Perfection in love with someone else, he gets the honor of telling him how to proclaim his love.

"You have a special someone, huh Cap? Well you need to just bite the bullet and tell them. The worst thing I can think of in this world is to have to hide how you feel about someone." He mutters as he takes a sip of scotch. And he should know, he's been having that feeling for months now.

"Tony..." He hears Steve murmur, suddenly much closer to him. He turns slowly and Steve is barely inches away.

"Steve..." Is all he can think to murmur back.

"You're... you're the special someone." Steve whispers before crashing into his lips. His brain feels like its offline, Steve is kissing him, wow Steve is kissing him, like really kissing him.

And then he pulls away, still close enough he can feel his breath on him which is really nice and all but he sort of wants to go back to the kissing thing. And maybe more, he wonders how many dates before he'll get to see if the super solider serum really worked everywhere.

"Tony..." Steve whispers, a hint of hesitation in his voice.

Oh right, he's supposed to say something.

"I love you." He blurts out suddenly. Crap. "Crap, I did not mean to say that, pretend I said something suave and charming, its all your fault, kissing you like that makes my brain turn off-"

And luckily he's cut off as Steve kisses him again and its all lips and tounge and damn where did he learn to kiss like this.

"I love you too, Tony." He whispers against his lips, before gently planting another kiss.

"Does this mean everyone's going to stop asking me for dating advice?" He murmurs back.

"The blush on Steve's cheeks is instantaneous and possibly the cutest thing he's ever seen.

"I think they'll be relieved we're finally together." Steve smiled back.

"They knew?" He said, planning the lecture he was going to give Bruce. Honestly, science bros before... other bros.

"Tony... everyone knew." Steve whispers before his lips meet his again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Feel free to leave comments!


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